Carson Turned Three

The first time we met....




three years later...




I have been postponing this blog for some time I feel, because in some strange way, this makes it real. REAL that Carson turned THREE. I have had a harder time with this birthday than the other two. One was so exciting, two was so sweet, THREE just seems too old. Too old for my sweet baby boy. I wonder if every year will get worse. If every year I will look at myself in the mirror and so easily see the proof of the time passed in my eyes, yet not be able to comprehend that my baby is getting older. This past month I keep looking at my babies and thinking, our time with them being small, innocent and sweet is going to feel like a blink of an eye. Like high school now seems, or college. This time of sweet hugs, kisses, cries, is an UNBEARABLY short amount of time and I want so badly to slow it down. And while I AM SO proud of the little boy he has become, every night I want to put him back in his crib, back in his diapers and give him a bottle as I hold him in my arms. But since he turned 3, I can't do that. But I still want to. And I figure I'll fight the lump in my throat and the ache in my heart every year as he gets older. And I will smile, because he IS the best thing I ever made.

Three year old Carson is more than words. Even for me. He has more energy, more smiles and more love than anyone I have ever met. He loves EVERYONE. It is so sweet that he doesn't know peoples "issues" yet, he just loves EVERYONE. He calls everyone his friend and wants to know where they all live and wants to go to their house all the time. Carson also loves soccer, Toy Story, Shrek, "bouncy things", running, jumping, banging, trucks, singing, Dave Matthews, counting in Spanish (thanks to Dora), chocolate milk, his sister, his "new home", the "Chicken Song" (Zac Brown Band), water, serving drinks to people, his mom and dad and SO much more.

The past three years have gone so fast, too fast, they have been wonderful, too wonderful. I now know what people mean when they say, "I can't imagine my life without you". Because I really can't. That one sweet little boy had brought more love and joy to me and my husband than I never dreamed possible. And to think there was a time that I worried I didn't have enough love in my heart left for a baby since I already loved my dogs so much.....