Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Carson Turned Three

The first time we met....




three years later...




I have been postponing this blog for some time I feel, because in some strange way, this makes it real. REAL that Carson turned THREE. I have had a harder time with this birthday than the other two. One was so exciting, two was so sweet, THREE just seems too old. Too old for my sweet baby boy. I wonder if every year will get worse. If every year I will look at myself in the mirror and so easily see the proof of the time passed in my eyes, yet not be able to comprehend that my baby is getting older. This past month I keep looking at my babies and thinking, our time with them being small, innocent and sweet is going to feel like a blink of an eye. Like high school now seems, or college. This time of sweet hugs, kisses, cries, is an UNBEARABLY short amount of time and I want so badly to slow it down. And while I AM SO proud of the little boy he has become, every night I want to put him back in his crib, back in his diapers and give him a bottle as I hold him in my arms. But since he turned 3, I can't do that. But I still want to. And I figure I'll fight the lump in my throat and the ache in my heart every year as he gets older. And I will smile, because he IS the best thing I ever made.

Three year old Carson is more than words. Even for me. He has more energy, more smiles and more love than anyone I have ever met. He loves EVERYONE. It is so sweet that he doesn't know peoples "issues" yet, he just loves EVERYONE. He calls everyone his friend and wants to know where they all live and wants to go to their house all the time. Carson also loves soccer, Toy Story, Shrek, "bouncy things", running, jumping, banging, trucks, singing, Dave Matthews, counting in Spanish (thanks to Dora), chocolate milk, his sister, his "new home", the "Chicken Song" (Zac Brown Band), water, serving drinks to people, his mom and dad and SO much more.

The past three years have gone so fast, too fast, they have been wonderful, too wonderful. I now know what people mean when they say, "I can't imagine my life without you". Because I really can't. That one sweet little boy had brought more love and joy to me and my husband than I never dreamed possible. And to think there was a time that I worried I didn't have enough love in my heart left for a baby since I already loved my dogs so much.....

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The most "UNcool" time of our life...

A few years back, well, just about three actually, we took Carson up to Westminster for a visit right after he was born. And a dear friend of ours, Julie Lewis, told us that we just entered the most un-cool time of our life. She said we'd get cool again when our kids get older. I didn't really get that at the time. I mean, as I got older, my parents got LESS cool. But yesterday, while being visited by one of my sweet youth kids, Allie, I got it.

You see, I speak "baby poop" now. If you want to have a conversation on the phone with me, it will likely be interupted every couple of minutes because someone fell, cried, needs to be fed, needs to go to the bathroom, etc. If you really want me to catch you up on what is going on in my life, you better sit back, because you will hear about my struggle to keep Carson from putting "mine finger in mine butt" or my issues with Lyla spitting up on me anytime I have REAL clothes on. Or how Carson now doesn't only COME INTO the bathroom with me, but now tells me "I watch you mama", like a creapy stalker or how he wants to "see" what's in the potty after. If you want to stop by to visit, you will smell the nice scent of soiled diapers, spit up and dirty dog and will likely trip and fall on something in the floor. I won't have much to offer you to eat or drink except baby food, O's or a juice box. If you want to hang out in my backyard, you will have to watch your step, because I already deal with enough poop to care about picking up the dogs. I wash my hair MAX of three times a week, I know NO hip languge, bands, shows. I go to bed at ten and I'm up at 6.

I am at the most uncool of my life.

But my kids don't think so. :)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Someone should PAY me for this...

For the second time I ventured out on my own with two kids to my least place on the planet, Walmart. It started off ok, I got my lists all ready to go, my bills paid so that I knew what I was to spend, I got the kids dressed, coats on, one loaded in the carseat, convinced C to pee, grabbed everyone and headed out the door, only to find my husband still had the carseat in his car. DANG!

Call to husband requesting permission to leave the house.

Josh shows up pretty quick, got us all fixed up and off we went. Got to Walmart, found a spot about 2 miles from the door and headed in. I strained (due to my back barely holding on the last few days) to get Lyla's carrier up into the seat part, and Carson jumped on the front to ride. We got to the back of the store, where I like to start, and of COURSE, "Mom, I have to pee". REALLY? REALLY? "Can you hold it?" "Yes." "Good".

First part of shopping was really ok, except for having to go back to the baby section 3 times to get all I needed for two weeks. About half way in Lyla started fussing, but don't worry! I brough Mum Mums. So I gave her one and she was content. But then I started having to really work to keep C under control. Since Walmart isn't as smart as HEB and doesn't provide DOUBLE seats, C has to walk. Well, walking between me and the cart got old, so off he went. Let's just say, I'm pretty sure everyone in the store knew his name...And, I am sorry to any mother I gave a bad look to when I almost ran over their kids, not all of you, some of you don't try, but I'm sorry to the ones who do.

By the time we got to the last leg all hell had broke loose. Lyla started screaming. I gave her the last Mum Mum. Carson started eatting the fruit. FROM THE SHELVES. So, I started collecting the fruit he had taken bites out of to buy. It was about then when Lyla started choking on a MUM MUM.. REALLY!!! I thought the reason they are so nasty was bc they were like AIR and they couldn't choke. I dug it out of her throat, which did NOT help the crying. Finished getting groceries and headed to check out. Well, of COURSE there are at least 4 people in all 3-4 open lines by the food, so I head towards the other side, along the way, Carson got distracted and fell behind, I noticed luckily b/c I hear a guy say "Hurry up Carson, you're getting left." No I did not know him. Like I said, the whole store knew his name by that point.

I found a line, grabbed some Goldfish and handed to C to eat on. Lyla was still SCREAMING. I tried to play with her to get her calmed down, it worked, but then it was FINALLY my turn to check out. So of course, I had to unload all my groceries. And, of course I also had to RELOAD all my groceries. (NOPE. Walmart does NOT have baggers, HEB go-ers.) Lyla was acting as if she might DIE if she had to sit any longer, so I took her out of the carrier to continue loading bags. While I was attempting to fit everything back into the cart that I took out of it, which I can never do, I hear a scream, I mean ANOTHER scream, this time it was from C. He had stuck his fingers on the turn about thing that Walmart keeps their bags on and got them smashed. Great. So, now, I'm calming a baby, kissing fingers on a hysterical two year old, my groceries aren't fitting in the cart, so the cashier is rearranging, while trying to get C to let her see his fingers, but of course he won't, so he's clinging onto my leg because the lady won't let him go, really? I know she was trying to be nice, but LEAVE HIM ALONE. He then starts screaming for me to hold him b/c he got scared of the lady who wouldn't let him go. Possibly due to the fact that I had been telling him the whole way through the store that he had to stay close b/c I didn't want anyone to get him....... So I put L back in her carrier, strapped her in, picked up C and attempted to push my completly over filled cart out with one hand. The cashier asked how close I was parked, "about two miles out" I replied. I thanked her, appoligized to the lady behind me and took off. Cussing Walmart in my mind for not having guys to push your cart out for you.

Yes, I had to carry C all the way to the car. "Carson is done huh" another complete stranger said at about mile 1. "Yes he is".

We get home, I leave all groceries in the car, take both kids in, feed L, put her down, give C lunch, unload groceries, put C down. Then sit at computer to vent. Somewhere along the way, I started singing, "I would do anything for love but I won't do that" by Meatload in my head, and about the time I wrapped it all up, I realized, he MUST have been talking about going to Walmart with two kids, two and under, b/c I'm not sure I will EVER do that again...