Carson Turned Three

The first time we met....




three years later...




I have been postponing this blog for some time I feel, because in some strange way, this makes it real. REAL that Carson turned THREE. I have had a harder time with this birthday than the other two. One was so exciting, two was so sweet, THREE just seems too old. Too old for my sweet baby boy. I wonder if every year will get worse. If every year I will look at myself in the mirror and so easily see the proof of the time passed in my eyes, yet not be able to comprehend that my baby is getting older. This past month I keep looking at my babies and thinking, our time with them being small, innocent and sweet is going to feel like a blink of an eye. Like high school now seems, or college. This time of sweet hugs, kisses, cries, is an UNBEARABLY short amount of time and I want so badly to slow it down. And while I AM SO proud of the little boy he has become, every night I want to put him back in his crib, back in his diapers and give him a bottle as I hold him in my arms. But since he turned 3, I can't do that. But I still want to. And I figure I'll fight the lump in my throat and the ache in my heart every year as he gets older. And I will smile, because he IS the best thing I ever made.

Three year old Carson is more than words. Even for me. He has more energy, more smiles and more love than anyone I have ever met. He loves EVERYONE. It is so sweet that he doesn't know peoples "issues" yet, he just loves EVERYONE. He calls everyone his friend and wants to know where they all live and wants to go to their house all the time. Carson also loves soccer, Toy Story, Shrek, "bouncy things", running, jumping, banging, trucks, singing, Dave Matthews, counting in Spanish (thanks to Dora), chocolate milk, his sister, his "new home", the "Chicken Song" (Zac Brown Band), water, serving drinks to people, his mom and dad and SO much more.

The past three years have gone so fast, too fast, they have been wonderful, too wonderful. I now know what people mean when they say, "I can't imagine my life without you". Because I really can't. That one sweet little boy had brought more love and joy to me and my husband than I never dreamed possible. And to think there was a time that I worried I didn't have enough love in my heart left for a baby since I already loved my dogs so much.....

The most "UNcool" time of our life...

A few years back, well, just about three actually, we took Carson up to Westminster for a visit right after he was born. And a dear friend of ours, Julie Lewis, told us that we just entered the most un-cool time of our life. She said we'd get cool again when our kids get older. I didn't really get that at the time. I mean, as I got older, my parents got LESS cool. But yesterday, while being visited by one of my sweet youth kids, Allie, I got it.

You see, I speak "baby poop" now. If you want to have a conversation on the phone with me, it will likely be interupted every couple of minutes because someone fell, cried, needs to be fed, needs to go to the bathroom, etc. If you really want me to catch you up on what is going on in my life, you better sit back, because you will hear about my struggle to keep Carson from putting "mine finger in mine butt" or my issues with Lyla spitting up on me anytime I have REAL clothes on. Or how Carson now doesn't only COME INTO the bathroom with me, but now tells me "I watch you mama", like a creapy stalker or how he wants to "see" what's in the potty after. If you want to stop by to visit, you will smell the nice scent of soiled diapers, spit up and dirty dog and will likely trip and fall on something in the floor. I won't have much to offer you to eat or drink except baby food, O's or a juice box. If you want to hang out in my backyard, you will have to watch your step, because I already deal with enough poop to care about picking up the dogs. I wash my hair MAX of three times a week, I know NO hip languge, bands, shows. I go to bed at ten and I'm up at 6.

I am at the most uncool of my life.

But my kids don't think so. :)

Someone should PAY me for this...

For the second time I ventured out on my own with two kids to my least place on the planet, Walmart. It started off ok, I got my lists all ready to go, my bills paid so that I knew what I was to spend, I got the kids dressed, coats on, one loaded in the carseat, convinced C to pee, grabbed everyone and headed out the door, only to find my husband still had the carseat in his car. DANG!

Call to husband requesting permission to leave the house.

Josh shows up pretty quick, got us all fixed up and off we went. Got to Walmart, found a spot about 2 miles from the door and headed in. I strained (due to my back barely holding on the last few days) to get Lyla's carrier up into the seat part, and Carson jumped on the front to ride. We got to the back of the store, where I like to start, and of COURSE, "Mom, I have to pee". REALLY? REALLY? "Can you hold it?" "Yes." "Good".

First part of shopping was really ok, except for having to go back to the baby section 3 times to get all I needed for two weeks. About half way in Lyla started fussing, but don't worry! I brough Mum Mums. So I gave her one and she was content. But then I started having to really work to keep C under control. Since Walmart isn't as smart as HEB and doesn't provide DOUBLE seats, C has to walk. Well, walking between me and the cart got old, so off he went. Let's just say, I'm pretty sure everyone in the store knew his name...And, I am sorry to any mother I gave a bad look to when I almost ran over their kids, not all of you, some of you don't try, but I'm sorry to the ones who do.

By the time we got to the last leg all hell had broke loose. Lyla started screaming. I gave her the last Mum Mum. Carson started eatting the fruit. FROM THE SHELVES. So, I started collecting the fruit he had taken bites out of to buy. It was about then when Lyla started choking on a MUM MUM.. REALLY!!! I thought the reason they are so nasty was bc they were like AIR and they couldn't choke. I dug it out of her throat, which did NOT help the crying. Finished getting groceries and headed to check out. Well, of COURSE there are at least 4 people in all 3-4 open lines by the food, so I head towards the other side, along the way, Carson got distracted and fell behind, I noticed luckily b/c I hear a guy say "Hurry up Carson, you're getting left." No I did not know him. Like I said, the whole store knew his name by that point.

I found a line, grabbed some Goldfish and handed to C to eat on. Lyla was still SCREAMING. I tried to play with her to get her calmed down, it worked, but then it was FINALLY my turn to check out. So of course, I had to unload all my groceries. And, of course I also had to RELOAD all my groceries. (NOPE. Walmart does NOT have baggers, HEB go-ers.) Lyla was acting as if she might DIE if she had to sit any longer, so I took her out of the carrier to continue loading bags. While I was attempting to fit everything back into the cart that I took out of it, which I can never do, I hear a scream, I mean ANOTHER scream, this time it was from C. He had stuck his fingers on the turn about thing that Walmart keeps their bags on and got them smashed. Great. So, now, I'm calming a baby, kissing fingers on a hysterical two year old, my groceries aren't fitting in the cart, so the cashier is rearranging, while trying to get C to let her see his fingers, but of course he won't, so he's clinging onto my leg because the lady won't let him go, really? I know she was trying to be nice, but LEAVE HIM ALONE. He then starts screaming for me to hold him b/c he got scared of the lady who wouldn't let him go. Possibly due to the fact that I had been telling him the whole way through the store that he had to stay close b/c I didn't want anyone to get him....... So I put L back in her carrier, strapped her in, picked up C and attempted to push my completly over filled cart out with one hand. The cashier asked how close I was parked, "about two miles out" I replied. I thanked her, appoligized to the lady behind me and took off. Cussing Walmart in my mind for not having guys to push your cart out for you.

Yes, I had to carry C all the way to the car. "Carson is done huh" another complete stranger said at about mile 1. "Yes he is".

We get home, I leave all groceries in the car, take both kids in, feed L, put her down, give C lunch, unload groceries, put C down. Then sit at computer to vent. Somewhere along the way, I started singing, "I would do anything for love but I won't do that" by Meatload in my head, and about the time I wrapped it all up, I realized, he MUST have been talking about going to Walmart with two kids, two and under, b/c I'm not sure I will EVER do that again...

In the closet

You know how it is when you move into a new house, people are always coming in and out of your house, installing things, delivering things or just stopping by to see the house. Well, when all this was going on for us, I started pumping in my closet so that I could have some privacy. A couple of weeks later Josh told me I COULD come out of the closet to pump, but I told him no. See, I kinda started liking it. It is not comfortable, I sit on the floor, but my closet is cozy, and bright and roomy. My time in the closet has become my time to return emails for work, to check facebook, lately, to read catalogs or magazines. My time in the closet has given me a break from the chaos and the "MAMA's". PUMPING is the only time I sit and relax during the day, and I am STILL being productive...It has been nice and peaceful. Well, let me rephrase, it WAS nice and peaceful.

Lyla wakes me up every morning when she starts squeaking. After sharing a room with her for a few months, Josh and I know that her squeaks don't mean she is awake, but means she will be soon. SO, when she starts to squeak, I get up to pump so that I can be done when she wakes. Well, I guess she has been waking quicker lately, because now my peaceful time in the morning to take care of business has now become a family "FUN TIME." Josh has been going to get Lyla, and bringing her into the closet. I'm not sure why. Carson has FINALLY started getting out of bed on his own, so he is even joining. So there I am, mid pumping sessions, changing a diaper with one hand becuase the other is holding on the "pummps" and a two, almost three year old on my lap and my husband lying on the floor next to us....

And the funny thing is, I don't mind. It makes me laugh every morning. My whole family one by one, joining me on the closet floor. Laughing, hugging and kissing. Besides, who needs peace and quiet when you can have family pumping sessions?

Getting older. AGAIN.

Another month has flown by! It has been a month of pure joy! Since Lyla's 6 month birthday, we have been enjoying out time being settled in our new house. This past month has been much more calm and relaxed and HAPPY and has allowed me to spend time absorbing all that Lyla Kade has to offer.

Lyla is so so so sweet. I don't know if it's just because she is a girl, but she just seems SWEETER than Carson, and he was pretty darn sweet. She is content being held and cuddled, but as of lately, would much rather be crawling EVERY where! She's not quiet up on all fours yet, which is FINE! I want this one to develop MUCH slower... MUCH MUCH SLOWER. But, she won't go as slow as I'd like her to. One day, she'll take off and never look back. And it's ok. I'll be sad and proud all at the same time.

I have said to Josh on several occasions, "I just feel so DIFFERENT about Lyla. I don't love her more or less, the love is the same, I just feel DIFFERENT." I wish I could explain the difference. Again, is it b/c she is a girl, or because she's my last, or because I am older and more appreciative of the little moments? I don't know. But it is different, it's special, and I am thankful daily for the different feelings I have with each child.

Having a crawler is easier this time around for a number of reasons, main one being, I never have to wonder where she crawled off to thanks to Carson. If Lyla gets one foot out of the living room, Carson is running to me wanting me to "Come see that Lyla". I don't know if he's telling on her, or proud, or just looking out. Whatever, it's nice.

Our big obstacle that we are trying to work out is a way for Lyla to stay up past 6:30. I know WHY? Well, I'm tired of being home that early for one. But mainly b/c she has started waking up at 6 and I don't like that. I have to pump, shower, get ready and I don't want to get up before 6 to do that... So, we are working on things.

Because I have time tonight, thanks to OU basketball being on TV and because I haven't really put many pics of Lyla up on this blog, I am going to take my favorite pic from every month to show how far she has come.

Coming home


1 months



2 months



3 months



4 months



6 months



7 months

I hope I'm not alone here...

I try to be a good mom. I REALLY LOVE spending time with my kids. In fact, I love it so much, that I've gotten to the point that I don't really want to do things if my kids can't be a part of it. I used to LONG for nights out- days off- but not so much any more. I think with my second, I'm seeing how it all passes too fast and I don't want to miss a second. I mean, they sleep all the time, so I get breaks.

Anyway, during the time I spend with them, we watch too much TV, and on TV, I see ads for Nick Jr's or Sprouts website where you can find all these craft ideas. For two years now, I've been thinking, "I really need to craft more with Carson. And bake character cookies and decorate them. We'd have fun. I love hanging out with my kids..." So, today I started. I went to Nick Jr with Carson, he chose the TV show craft he wanted. I printed off supplies, we went upstairs to his craft table, and we began making Team Umizoomi paper chains.

This is where things got ugly...

I'll just tell you right now there is a reason I don't teach young kids. I have no patience. I feel if they are old enough to back talk you, then they should be old enough to follow simple instructions. I feel if they are old enough get themselves dressed, then they should be able to cut a strip of paper that I am holding, without cutting my fingers. Long story short, I asked Carson if he was having fun and he said "no". He could tell I was frustrated. It felt like more work than fun. I don't think we need to add a stove to the mix tomorrow.

I really hope I'm not alone in this. I mean, it APPEARS that all mom's (especially stay at home's) happily craft and bake with their kids all day. But I just don't have the patience. I don't really even have the patience to play blocks or Lego's. It drives me CRAZY that he rarely lets me finish what he wants me to build then really drives me nuts when all he wants to do it knock down my hard work. UGH! I don't like dumping toys all over the room, I don't like playing with something for two minutes and moving on, I don't like diving head first off my couch. I don't like coloring with ALL the colors dumped out...What's wrong with with one at a TIME? What's wrong with ME? It's seems all other mom's do like this. And ENJOY it... I get frustrated and think "THIS is why I pay to send you to Mothers Day Out. So THEY can teach you to craft". I could NEVER home school...

I LOVE providing opportunities for exploration and learning. I LOVE explaining things to him, showing him new things. I LOVE seeing his face when he sees something for the first time. I love zoos, museums, inflatable zones, reading books, sporting events, I do NOT like Legos. I do not like coloring outside the lines. AND I DESPISE toys that are small with lots of pieces. He doesn't play with them. He dumps them Every. Where. He. Can.

So, anyone have advise for what's wrong with me? Or are all mom's secretly hating crafting and doing it anyway?

I felt like a MAN today!

And it felt good! Thanks to Veterans Day, Josh stayed home. SO, this is how my day went. I woke up, 30 minutes late on accident. To "MAMA, I WAKE UP. NEED TO POTTY!". So I got up, took C to pee, then handed him off to Josh. Also, told Josh that Lyla was up. I then went to get ready. It was FANTASTIC. I had to pump, so I guess I didn't feel ALL that much like a man... but after I pumped, I got ready kinda slow and without a little boy in my shower, or helping me get dressed, or making me brush his hair. Just me. Getting ready. Like it was B.C. (before children). After I got ready, my dad called, who just got back from Vegas, so we chatted about gambling and hookers (no he didn't buy one, but you know the cards you get in Vegas). After we hung up, I noticed Josh had fed both children, Carson was dressed for school, lunch box and back pack was packed. AND I HAD 25 MINUTES TO SPARE!!!! When I saw that I told Josh that he could be a stay at home dad. Because this ruled!

And even though I DID have to pump and still take Carson to school, for the most part I wondered through my house this morning only concerned with getting myself ready and chipping in a little here and there. And it felt GREAT!

HUGE THANK YOU to my friend Mandy!

Well, it's only been a week, but I can say, that my sorority sister Mandy, has changed life, well the dinner time and grocery shopping part anyway.

You see, I don't mind cooking, but I NEVER have everything I need. And what I DO mind is making my grocery list. My "staples" list is covered, thanks to my friend Lauren's idea, but my MEALS. THOSE I HATE! I am TERRIBLE at coming up with ideas, I HATE looking through cookbooks! Long instructions overwhelm me and make me not want to cook. PLUS, all I know how to cook is FATTENING! But, I had to start cooking at home, we are now paying the mortgage and bills for two houses, so we have to save MONEY.

SO, I went where everyone goes for advice these days, Facebook. I asked mom's for easy, cheap recipes and that's when Mandy told me about e-mealz.com!

Here I found menus for two, available to download weekly, with weight watchers points already calculated and SHOPPING LISTS ready for the grocery store of choice, Walmart...WELL, NOT OF MY CHOICE, there are others... And it gets better! The list are EASY to shop from because they are in order. AND the meals are GOOD! My two year old has never eaten better! Even my husband likes it! There are "MAN MEALS" like BBQ Chicken sandwhiches. OH! And I can feed my family of three 5 meals (with sides and all! and some lunches due to left overs) for $40!!!! We can't even eat one meal for that out...

Thanks to Mandy, I set a personal record. Well, two. First, I cooked FOUR nights in a row! Even after work. The meals are quick and if I can do it, well, let me just admit, if I can do it, Carson could probablly do it...if he could reach the stove. Second, we haven't ordered in or gone to a resturant all week!

So, if you hate cooking, but want to feed your family tasty meals that aren't too fattening for not too much money in not too much time, check it out!!!

http://e-mealz.com

THANKS MANDY!

I think we did it!

Not to jump the gun or anything, but Carson has not had an accident since Friday morning. It's like it just clicked. He's even going standing up. Pretty cool. Way to go Carson! Of course, he is still very proud of it. I have to look at it and give him a high five every time. He told me Saturday that he didn't need candy, so high five it is!

Potty Training Update.

Big news! As Carson would say "UGE! GIANT!"
I let c play upstairs in his playroom for the first time since this started. I put his little potty up there too bc I don't want him in the upstairs bathroom alone. I called up to him to remind him to go pee and he said, ready for this? "I already did mama! See?" he then showed me the pee pee in the little potty. This has happened all morning!

I'm just stumped on the next step... Overnight. Suggestions?

Lyla Kade at 6 months

Lyla Kade is now 15 pounds! She is in the 30-40th percentile in head, height and weight. And so far, we haven't been to the doctor except for well visits. She sleeps from 6:45-7:30 or 8 every night. Eats a LOT! Can't stand sitting still. LOVES to be played with. LOVES LOVES LOVES messing with her brother. Has discovered Hide and Seek. Yesterday while she was playing in her room, she crawled up under her crib and laughed like crazy when I found her. TOO FUNNY!

Lyla Kade has to be the sweetest little thing I could ever imagine having. She gives kisses and makes the sweetest "mmmm" sound when she does it. She sucks her pointer and middle finger when she's tired. She loves my hair to hang down and tickle her face when I give her kisses. Every single day I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have such a sweet baby. And EASY. I think I won the Easy Baby Lottery or something. Seriously, God must have know how bad I need sleep when my babies were growing. Two thumbs up to the big guy!

I was cringing inside today when my doctor was going over all the developmental milestones to expect in the next three months. I seriously had to keep reminding myself that growing up is what we WANT! Growing is good. I don't want a developmentally stunted baby. I don't. I don't. I don't. She need to grow. She needs to grow. But a bigger part of me wanted to ask the doctor how to stop it. Because right now she is PERFECT. She doesn't talk back, she doesn't go too far, she doesn't fight eating, bedtime or anything. I make her day just by smiling at her. And she makes mine when she smiles back. She is perfect and I love it. And I feel like I'm fighting time trying to keep her as is.

Potty Training Sage Part 5

We wore clothes AND underwear for the first time today. Well, I wear clothes and underwear everyday, so we means Carson. I had to take Lyla to the doctor for her 6 month check up and C went to my moms while I ran her over.

The day did NOT start well... Carson got up, peed, then came into my bathroom where I was rushing to get ready b/c I had accidently slept in. And I mean SLEPT IN! I woke up at 7:30 and I didn't even know my NAME, much less that I had to leave with both kids in an HOUR! Anyway, C followed my into the bathroom and immediatly crapped his pants. UGH. Josh left at 8:20 thinking things were under control for me to leave at 8:30... long story short, at 9:10 we rolled out of town...At 9:11 I called my friend Erin to see if she wanted to get together for a drink...she didn't answer...

Carson got to my mom's, went potty, then 10 minutes later peed his pants. Good thingI had spares! But then made the car ride home fine. Even with the multiple glasses or orange juice he drank with Dillon.

They are both napping now.

Potty Training Saga Part 4? (can't keep track)

I always said Carson was easy to housebreak. He has taken to going pee outside most times... Naked... and we don't have a fence....

On a positive note, we've had ZERO accidents all afternoon! And that includes naptime!

Potty Training Sage Part 3

Day two.

Things have been much smoother today. So smooth infact that I decided to to a little glaze work on my breakfast bar and my halls. Looks pretty good. I need to work on a few spots but I ran out of glaze.

Oh, this is about Carson. So, while I was painting, Carson came up to me and asked if he could help. I told him that he could help by keeping his fingers away from the wet paint. He then squatted on the tile next to me and peed. I guess that was how he thought he could help.

Josh got the oh so covited joy of saying "GET YOUR FINGERS OUT OF YOUR BUTT"...Proud words for any parent to mutter.

I only used one diaper yesterday. And that was to sleep in last night. One large box of diapers will last forever if I only have to use ONE a day.

Potty Training Saga Part 2

Still day 1. I successfully walked away from the bottle of wine at 4:30. Can not make any promises after 5.

Just changed first poopy underwear. It was nasty. It fell out onto floor. I had to pick it up twice to get it all up. It was spread all over his legs and he stepped in some too. Lyla screamed the whole time b/c she was layin in my closet. Where I had just pumped...

We are training him sitting down, so he went outside to pee, and he normally stands, but this time he sat on the edge of the porch...

Potty Training Saga Part 1

We have been on our potty training mission since 7am this morning. So far so good. I've gotten lots of helpful feedback from friends. Mostly concernig making sure he is ready. I really feel he is. I mean he changes his own diaper....

Here's some scenes from this morning:

First pee pee break SUCCESS! (he goes all the time, just not every time) Carson gets told he can have one candy corn for every pee and two for poo. So he runs through the house naked chanting "candy! candy!"

Carson wet Thomas the Train underwear- and my coffee table that he was sitting on- while I was getting fresh underwear I get to tell him to "get your fingers out of your butt"...

Carson is trapped in the living room with Lyla for the day. I heard a strange noise from the kitchen. Come in to find Lyla choking. On a cheerio that Carson gave her. Don't worry. Baby made it.

The hardest thing we are going to have to do is break him from taking a drink to bed with him. First sessio today at nap. Wasn't terrible. But there were some screams and tears. And of course, false requests to go poo in order to skip out on nap time.

While Carson was going pee he wouldn't stop touching his "wee wee".. I asked him to stop. His reply, "I can't". My reply, "your dad has the same problem"

Where did my baby go?

Tonight was our first evening that felt normal. Our home is totally liveable, and getting comfortable. We actually didn't have friends or family in our home for the first day. It was just us. It was slow. It was peaceful. I went to put Lyla down and had time to rock her. As I rocked her she chewed on my finger, because you see, yesterday she woke up with a tooth and will soon have a second. And that hit me tonight like a ton of bricks. My little baby is growing up. And I want like crazy to make it stop.

I am having a very hard time with the fact that my time as a mom of a little bitty baby has passed. Sure, I could have more. But why? That baby will also break my heart by growing up.

So, I sat there and rocked. Wishing like crazy that the last four months of her life had not been so crazy and distracting and that I could have had more time to just sit and rock and cuddle and get my finger chewed on. Life outside of being a parent will always be there, but our time with our babies pass without notice.

And it's just not fair.

Just Keep Swimming

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming... WOW! Did that line from Finding Nemo go through my head about 1,079 times since Thursday morning. Why? Well, let me tell you. I just survived the move from HELL. I'm sure there are worse moves than this, but you see, this IS my SEVENTEENTH move since HIGH SCHOOL. Maybe 18th? Either way, I should have it down by now. And I do. Problem is, I've gotten wiser and started to hire help, and apparently, no one wants to make money these days...

SO, Wednesday afternoon, after a very difficult and tricky closing, we closed on my house. (Many kudos to the ladies at Choice Title in Shawnee, Steve Cotner and crew at Security State and MY REALTOR KARRIE DAVIS!!!) Now, this STARTED bad. WE had the closing date all set up, then it changed, so we changed EVERYTHING. Movers, babysitters, plans for my class. And as soon as it was all set up, things went back to original plan. SO, We closed Wednesday at noon. And as a thank you "gift" my realtor found a painter to paint my sea foam green bedroom. SEE? She IS the best! Anyway, little did we know the fun was just beginning!

We got to Katy about 11 Wednesday night. We CRASHED. And I had the best sleep, (till last night) I had had in MONTHS! Like 13 of them. And I had to wake up early because the movers were coming at 8 and we had some things to do first. So, we get up, do our things. Nine o'clock comes, no movers, 9:15, no movers, Josh calls, no answer. Now, we aren't too mad, because we were told the owner had to take his mom to get a procedure done and may be closer to nine. So, we are assuming something bad happened, and don't want to be mad if she died or something terrible...10 comes, no movers, 11 comes, no movers, Josh goes to their office. OH! THEY MOVED... So at 11:30, I hire new packers to be there between 12:30 & 1. They show up at TWO! We get them settled and leave to figure out the rest.

Over lunch we keep calling the moving company, OMEGA MOVERS FROM KATY TEXAS, they don't answer. We call ALL FOUR NUMBERS, till finally the mom, who is the office manager I guess, answers from her hospital bed. So she didn't die so now we are mad. She says she'll have someone call us. SO JUST IN CASE, we went ahead and reserved two 26 foot UHauls. Two hours later, we still hadn't heard from the moving company, so we hire new loaders and a driver and unloaders. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

We get back home expecting to find our house ready to go but instead find it just over half way done. At that point we were over the four hours we had paid for so we had to get to work. Just keep swimming...Josh and I packed the ENTIRE UPSTAIRS before one mover had finished the office. In her defense, there were A LOT of picture frames and other decorations stored under the bed in their. (My office doubled as my guest room). Either way, she finished the office and came up to me, WHILE IM STILL LOOKING FOR BOXES FOR THE OTHER HALF MY HOUSE and asked to leave. "WELL, I'd like you to FINISH" I not to politely said. So they stayed, till I finished the upstairs...Anyway, $750 later, I got help packing my house. Just keep swimming...

The next morning the loaders and driver were to come at 9. But at 8 I got a phone call that they were stuck in traffic, not surprising in Houston and I appreciated the call. So, we got a quick break to do one of the many things I had planned to do on this trip, go see my friend TJay and her new baby girl. Well, that was a short visit b/c the driver got there quick. So we went home and found our loaders/driver ready to work. However, when I was going over the timeline we needed to work on with him, he was surprised to find out he was driving to OKLAHOMA. Apparently that detail was left off. He had to work at 8 that night. Just keep swimming, swimming...He assured me he would work it out, so we ALL began working. He even called in a third to make sure we got out by 2.

As we began loading, I found all the packers DID NOT pack. Including all those pictures in the office? Yea. NOT ONE was packed. And my big pictures were wrapped with just one little piece of packing paper. Glass was left all around not even wrapped. SO, I called KATY MOVERS to tell them my complaints. They offered to let me call the owner...which I politely denied b/c I didn't have time. I had to PACK after all. Oh and they also offered to send the same people back. No Thanks.

At 4:15 we were ready to go. However, the driver needed to get his cell phone charger. He had not planned on going to OKLAHOMA and all... We decided easiest was to just follow him (he said he lived "on the way" to 45). So we did. We waited for him at a gas station to fill both UHauls (which BARELY held our stuff). Well, turned out he didn't go the way we did (he lost us before we got around the corner b/c I had to go back to close garage door) and by the time he got there, we had been there 20 minutes and he hadn't even gone home yet. So we decided to meet up 45 after while. So Josh and I continued toward 45 the way the driver suggested we go.

THREE HOURS LATER we made it out of Houston. We met up with the driver in Madisonville at Buccees, where driver bought a car charger. Yes, he went all that way for a PLUG in one. I also had to book the driver a Greyhound ticket home. Because his secretary had not. SO I pulled out my Iphone and called Shawnee's Greyhound service, only to find out, THEY CLOSED THE DAY BEFORE!!!!! I fell out of my seat laughing at this point, and of course reminding my self to just keep swimming.

We booked a ticket out of Norman. I could order for him as long as he had ID. We were good. He went on. We decided we had to stop around Dallas. Because at that point it was going to be 330am before we were home and I didn't sleep ANY the night before, well 4 hours, which is the same as none for me.

So, Josh and I booked us a room outside Dallas and made that journey all hyped up on No Doze and Monsters (another rec from the driver). WELL, let me tell you. NO Doze isn't kidding around. Your BODY may be too tired to MOVE, but your MIND, it just won't doze. And then at 1:30am, we got a call from driver, he couldn't find his ID.... SO I tried to figure out a way to get a hold of Greyhound to work this out, but couldn't, so no more sleep even if I COULD doze, I was so worried. At 5:45 I texted him. He had his ticket and at 6:15 our friend Matt O met him to pick up our Uhaul and give him gas money for the rest of the trip. Because of course we forgot about that. SO THANKS MATT O AND MAGGIE!!!

Anyway, next day, J and I get up, more tired than when we got there and headed back. He was to meet Matt O, I was to load kids. We were one driver short b/c we had two cars AND two UHauls to get back, but that was a little worry. For later. Josh, Matt and I arrive at my house by 1 b/c that is the time the UNloaders said they would be there. Also, my sweet grandma De sent her Handy Man, Steve to help us unpack. HE showed up at 1 also.

Two o'clock comes, no movers. Three o'clock comes, no movers. WE send Steve on home. 3:30, Josh cancels them and hires someone new. (We booked through 3rd party and had already PAID) New guys say they'd be there within the hour. Hour passed, Josh gets phone call, unloader had emergency as he was getting into Shawnee, had to go home. JUST KEEP FREAKING SWIMMING.

SO, we quit. Got in our new hot tub with beer. Right when we "relaxed" phone rings. It's the owner of 2nd unloading company asking how things were. We say, well, no one is here. He was SHOCKED, and assured us HE and at LEAST 1 other if not 3 would be there by 9am. Fine.

8:50am THEY CAME!!! AND THEY WERE AMAZING!!! Of course, we got to find all the things the loaders broke. Including the two pieces we said to be the MOST CAREFUL with, and my sons dresser and our desk......just keep swimming...

Then at 12:30pm yesterday everything was unloaded and in my house!!!

My arms sure are tired!

Sister Wives.

So. I was watching Dateline or something last night and there was a special on a man with four wives. Now most people think they are all nuts, but here's what I was thinking. "MAN! These girls have the life!". (Most guys think that GUY has the life, but let me explain). You see, if there is one thing I would like to have more of, it's me. It is really hard for just one of me to work, clean, laundry, take care of kids, husband, bedroom time, have fun, etc. You mom's know. BUT if there were FOUR of me I could have the life I want! I could have more kids b/c I wouldn't have to birth them all. I could work, b/c someone else can stay home with the kids. We could split all household chores, bedroom chores... it would be GREAT!!!

And you notice you never see this picture the other way around... one wife, four husbands.. b/c who the HELL would EVER want FOUR HUSBANDS! Sure, the money would be good, but that just means FOUR pair of shoes to pick up every night, FOUR hats laying on the back of the couch, FOUR piles of dirty underwear in the bathroom, FOUR people whining about bedroom time, FOUR whining people when they get a sore throat, FOUR egos to feed, FOUR people to explain how to take care of the kids to, FOUR times the toilet seats to put down, bathrooms to stink up, football games to watch... get the picture.

Now, ladies, calm down, I'm not really wanting to share Josh. I'm just sayin... it would be nice to have more me's.

Bummer!

Last Monday my back went out. Worse than ever. Last time it went out when I was pregnant with Lyla, I though THAT was the worst ever, but this time was by FAR worse. I was straight up crooked. And all I did was sneeze. Anyway, went to doctor when I was even more crooked two days later, had an MRI two days after that, and went in to talk to the doctor about my results today. Good news and bad news.

Bad news is I have degenerative disc disease on my L3-4, L4-5, L5-S1 with ruptures in L4-5 and L5-S1 and an annular tear in L4-5. What ever that means...What it means to me is no more marathons. BOO! Doctor said this type of degeneration (?) is usually only seen on severely overweight people and older, not someone of my size and age. He then asked if I tumbled and cheered growing up... yep... He says that is probably why it started. He also explained that this was why my pregnancies sucked SO BAD. Glad to know I wasn't crazy...As for repairing my back, it won't happen. But I can get epidurals to take away the swelling and relieve pain. However, I'm considering passing on that for now. It is getting better everyday. Since it won't fix it, I'd soon not have a needle in my back...again... Plus, with the two mortgages I don't really want to spend the extra money. We have health insurance and all, but still 20%...That is not included in my budget...

I can continue to run, but only 15-20 miles per week. And my half scheduled for November was cut...

Good news, no surgery. That's all...

A small miracle...

Getting out of the house in time for work should really result in some type of reward or SOMETHING for us moms, because I swear it is a small miracle that it happens. At all. Here's how the day goes.

First, I am currently sleeping on the floor due to my back (hardwood...awesome). SO either my alarm, or my husband (when I forget my alarm due to being drugged the night before) wakes me up. I usually say "Crap" about 15 times on my way to get my pumps either due to waking up late OR due to the pain in my back. EIther way, I wabble into the bathroom, where I sit on my sons stool he uses to pee with, and pump. For 15 minutes. Then I take the worlds fastest shower and attempt to get my makeup on in the mirror that is completly fogged over b/c my husband is now in the shower. I comb through my wet hair and loose at least a handful daily. "CRAP" I top toe into the room my husband is sharing with my daughter, quietly to get clothes to get myself dressed. I then head to the kitchen to pack Carson's lunch and snack.

By then Lyla wakes up, I go change her, get her dressed. Lay her on floor to play, then Carson has to get up, dressed, and fed. Carson likes to do EVERYTHING "MINE SELF" so it take FOREVER. We get two kids in the kitchen, we make two bowls of oatmeal, one baby, one big kid, usually while both scream or "talk" to us. Carson USUALLY feeds himself, but my mom likes to feed him, so getting fed has become his new thing...Thanks mom... We then get C a drink for the road, make L's bottle for my mom to give to her, I look all around and make sure I didn't forget anything, two showers, two adults dressed, make-up kinda on, two diapers changed, two babies dressed, two breakfasts made, one lunch, one snack, pack diapers, pack spare clothes, get big bun, pack pumps for work, check check CHECK- so I head out the door, feeling like a super mom for getting all that done in an hour.

I load up C in the car, with backpack, lunchbox, big bun and blank. I get into my car, look around and realize I forgot MY breakfast, which is a shake, because I don't have time to chew. So, I run into the house and grab it, get back in the car, "Crap! I left my coffee Josh made me", so I run back in for that. Get back in car, "CRAP! Cell phone!" Back inside. Once I go back in 2-4 times, I really think I have it all together now. So I back out of the driveway. A little bit down the road I look up, mascara all over face, wipe it off, take the time to do a sniff test to make sure my deoderant got on, b/c my hair sure didn't get fixed, as I raise one arm I look, "CRAP! Baby oatmeal on my watch. Oh well. All dried on now". About then Carson finishes his drink and "CANT" hold it any longer, so I almost wreck trying to reach back for the cup to put in the cup holder while holding a hot cup of coffee b/c my cup holders are too small for MY drink.

An hour later we get to C's school. We unload backpack, lunchbox, big bun and blank and walk into school. He is always very sweet. He hugs me and kisses me bye and carries on. Then I get back in my car for another 20 minute drive to MY school. Get into my office, papers are all over the floor due to students turning things in late. Sit down to have my breakfast, "CRAP!" left it in the car. BACK out to the parking lot, get breakfast, enter grades, check emails. THEN, I feel like I can start my day.

Get it together...

I had this discussion recently with some of my sorority sisters, who I am proud to say, I have gotten to see TWICE this year. The discussion was about realizations I had while sitting at Owen Field looking around at OU's campus. As I sat up on the new upper deck (which I am a FAN of b/c they have seat backs and cup holders) I looked out only to find buildings where I used to park, I looked around and saw people I used to play with whose names I forgot, I looked at the bars that have been renamed, the clothing stores that have gone out of business, and all this made me realize, I started at OU TWELVE years ago! WOW! For real?

One of the things I remembered always checking out 12 years ago were the OU fans. The ones that were 30-something with young kids. They all had their best OU gear on, their tailgates set up, their new cars, their cute decked out kids, lots of friends around. They no longer tailgated with Natural Lite or without a TV, they didn't have to worry about drinking under aged or work after the game. They seemed to really have it all together.

So there I sat. Twelve years later. Thirty-something, with two cute kids, wearing new OU gear, with my husband, we drove our new car, we were with a couple of the people I hung out with 12 years ago. In THEIR season tickets. With the buildings over my parking spots. And all I could think is, "My shit is still not together."

I wonder when I too will be those tailgaters who have it all together. When will we stop moving, stay at jobs, stop doubting ourselves and the direction we are going? When will I FEEL like I have it all together too?

After a lot of thought, I have decided that moment will be when I have my own tailgate. When we have the TIME to pack ALL the crap up during the week to tailgate WITH at the stadium. I mean, REALLY, they have to start on Sunday to have all that ready for Saturday. TV's, grills, the food, the tents, the entertainment for the kids, the beer, coolers, chairs, fans, power sources, the tables, satellites, the new OU gear...man. When I am together enough to get all that together, I will think, "MAN. I really have it ALL together now."

On the menu this week...

A big fat serving of "mommy guilt". I think I've had seconds...and thirds...

Let me back up. I just came off a year of staying at home with my kids. I have never experienced this "mommy guilt" thing until I WAS at home giving all my time and efforts to my kids. Then it kicked in in high gear. I felt SOOO guilty because I did NOT like staying at home with my kids, or kid, at the time. Everyday by 5 I was pacing waiting for Josh to get home. For that hour and a half, I would feel like I didn't like Carson. HOW DOES A MOM FEEL LIKE THAT??? By the time Josh got home, he would have to take over so that I could take a break. By bedtime, I liked my child again, so I felt a little better about myself, but again the next day, the feeling of dislike would creep on back. I desperately wanted something in my life that got me out of the house, that allowed me to feel needed and important to someone OTHER than my child. And most importantly, would keep this feeling of dislike OUT OF MY LIFE!!!

It was not helping that I was getting into the blog world and was spending time reading about my friends adventures in motherhood- they always wrote about their life as a stay at home mom and made it sound so wonderful and happy and special- and it made me feel like crap. Everyday. I just kept wondering "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???" I should have be thankful for the chance to stay at home and watch my kids grow. Why don't I think sitting on the floor and shaking a rattle is fantastic? Why don't I think that lots of crying is cute? Needless to say, I have since decided to pass on that opportunity and move home and go back to work.

Now, I don't have to leave my kids that often for work, but NOW, once again, I'm having a whole new experience with the "mommy guilt". NOW I'm feeling it b/c I'm NOT with them all the time...SERIOUSLY? This is what I wanted. I never had this with Carson b/c I went back to work so soon, three weeks after his birth. So it always felt normal. But I stayed home with Lyla for four months. So, we got a little hooked on each other....

Then to REALLY add to my guilt, I haven't been raising them in our home since July. I realized this weekend that Lyla was 3.5 months old when we came back to Oklahoma. She's over 5 months now... She hasn't slept in her crib since JULY! She doesn't get changed on a changing table, or rocked at night. The nursery I worked on is not being used, her toys she has here are now OLD news, she's watching TV instead of sitting in her swing, or crawling all over the floor (my mom has hardwood...). I have crazy concerns that she's gonna get behind developmentally due to a lack of stimulation. Between me having to take care of C and simply not having stuff for her to do...I'm just sure she's not gonna develop right. GUILT.

THEN there's Carson. Who has started crying for "mine home". I think he's tired of the longest vacation EVER! I caught him looking at pics of our Katy house on my phone the other day. I asked what he was looking at and he said "home". And if you thought Lyla was going brain dead, you should see Carson. Talk about a kid of the times... AGAIN, hooked on TV and he is getting VERY good at working my IPhone, (I don't think that's something to be too proud of) All this is b/c my mom's home isn't very kid friendly. He has his box of toys, but since she is always picking them up, I think he doesn't really think he can get them out any more. So he watches NICK JR. Now, it IS Preschool on TV and all, but something tells me THAT JUST DOESN'T CUT IT.

I try to make sure he moves around through out the day by taking him out for a run. Kinda like you would if you had a big dog living in an apartment. Sometimes he just has so much energy he starts climbing the walls. Which results in him getting into the houseplants that are everywhere or messing up furniture. So I am always getting on to him and again, feeling guilty. Living in someone else's home results in you as a mother following you child around making sure they DON'T BREAK ANYTHING. Oh, and did I mention, he sleeps on an air mattress?? Ugh. Guilt.

Oh, and so, when I was pregnant with Lyla I shopped for clothes right? And I planned accordingly so that she had the basics for every stage of the first year. So she is in good shape. Except one small detail, WE MOVED TO OKLAHOMA. It's not going to be 75on Christmas here. So I had two kids with nothing but shorts, short sleeves/tanks and open toed shoes... We had a "cold" front last week, so I told Josh that we HAD to go buy our kids some cool weather clothes. So we did. I feel a little better. But STILL Guilt.

And to top it all off, my back went out last week. Not only could I not pick up my babies, I can't use my breast milk due to the steroids, muscle relaxers and pain meds I am on. Two year olds and 5 month olds don't really get that mommy's back can't be kissed and made better...Guilt.

What's funny about all this is the fact that my husband doesn't seem to experience as much of this guilt. As a dad, they are supposed to go to work and leave their kids behind. They don't experience the inner debate a mother goes through trying to decide what will make her a better mother, staying at home and going insane or working so that when they are home they LIKE their children. Dad's don't leave everyday thinking, I'm messing up my kids life. Mom's DO. It may be irrational, but Mom's DO.

Mom's feel guilty when they feed their kids fast food, when they don't buy organic, when they make them watch too much TV, when they send their kids to Mother's Day Out to have free time, when they don't get them out to run around enough, when they don't have the right clothes, when they leave them in their crib b/c they need five more minutes to shower, when they have to use formula, when we DON'T want to play, when we want a night out without them, when we lose our temper, when we DON'T miss them when we are away, when we discipline, when we DON'T discipline, when the baby wakes up in spit up, when we buy generics, when their hair gets too long, when they buy them too many toys, not enough toys, not the right toys, when they want to blog to get some emotional release, hell, mom's even feel guilty when the babies butts are red b/c WE should have changed them SOONER.

Mom's FEEL GUILT. Lots of Love. But lots of Guilt. We try to tell ourselves daily that we are good mom's, that we are raising them right, we have others tell us the same, but it doesn't go away. We STILL feel guilt. And I just don't think it's fair. There should be something we can take for Guilt.

Lil Bit is 4 months old again!

Due to the job change, we also changed insurance providers, which resulted in us not getting Lil bit to the doctor for her 4 month check-up till today, and she is 4.5 months now. Somehow being late has made me feel like a got a couple of weeks back. Not really, but it still feels like that. L is now 13 pounds 12 ounces, and 25.5 inches long. HOLY COW! She hasn't been to the doctor since she was 2 months old and she wasn't even 10 pounds. so sad...

The last four (.5) months w Lil Bit have been CRAZY! But in all the CRAZY decision making, nomadic family lifestyle, we been living, we have our calm, sweet Lyla at the center.

I am starting to notice all the differences between L & C. One of the biggest being the fact that she prefers her mom or dad to be holding her. Her grandparents run a close second, but others, watch out! She knows how to let you know that she's had enough of a new face. As long as she's not "scared" she is the most content little thing ever. She loves loves loves her fingers. Like all four of them at once. She is quiet the sucker. She also LOVES sitting up. If she'd quit getting so excited ABOUT sitting up, she'd be able to sit up, but she gets excited and leans back and falls. Lyla gets where she wants to be these days. She's our lil roller baby! She loves to laugh and smile anytime she's naked, unlike her bro who always seemed too cold. She doesn't like water on her face AT ALL! But she does love it dribbled on her tummy. She eats pretty well, but still prefers to lick the food off the spoon. She still sleeps and sleeps. And since she's a schedule baby, it's not surprising to go for a few days w/o any crying at all. She's just the sweetest thing ever. And she won't get any older, b/c God and I made a deal. She gets to stay my 4 (.5) month old baby forever! Yea! :)

Stella & Dot

So, I mentioned in previous blogs that I have decided to be a stylist for Stella & Dot. When I first heard of this, well, I had no idea what it was. My friend Erin decided to sell it, and I was like, "ok have fun with that burden". Next thing I know, she's making enough to pay her mortgage and looking better than ever in this fantastic jewelry. So I started asking questions... first, how much to start...she told my only $199 and that included $350 in free jewelry...then I asked how much I am required to sell...she told me only $300 per QUARTER! So, I was in. THEN I went to one of her shows and saw the pieces in person, and I got EXCITED! This stuff is really really cool. There are pieces for everyone! From little girls to your grandmother. I fell in love! And I've even been able to get things going with all the other craziness in my life.

I have had the best time getting everything up and running! I have my launch show this Friday at my friend Erin's house, in Norman. She was nice to loan me her home since I don't have one yet. People have already began ordering online. It is just so much fun! I'm really excited about this fun and fashionable way to make extra money!

For better or worse...

Stress can really challenge a marriage. I have many friends who fight with their spouse when times are tough and nerves are short. Our current situation was one that I was braced for. I told Josh going in that we may start fighting. Which is strange for us b/c we just don't really fight. I was ready to feel like I was carrying the load and ready to feel a lot of frustration towards Josh, but it hasn't happened.

My husband has been FANTASTIC! He has been the peace maker after work. He walks in the door at night and immediately begins the dinner/bath/bedtime routine. He has been wonderful at keeping my stress knots out of my shoulders, (the other day they were so bad I couldn't hardly stand to get them rubbed) and in the midst of all this he gave me, what is currently my favorite gift ever- a necklace with my kids names on one charm and "love you to the moon" on the other. As stated in a previous blog, this is the best line my baby boy speaks in my opinion.

It is times like this that I realize how lucky Josh and I are. I don't know if it's the 10 years of friendship before dating or the way that we've designed our marriage or just luck, but I have been so thankful to have such a strong relationship. I am blessed to have such a supportive husband who doesn't think I'm nuts for trying to do everything at once, who remembers to tell me he loves me everyday, who always makes sure I am ok, and who wants to spend as much time with me as he can.

My kids are so lucky to have a dad who doesn't need "his" time after work, who takes CARE of them, who will sit and read with them, wrestle with them, watch dumb cartoons with them, who tells them ALL THE TIME just how much he loves them, and who wants to spend as much time with THEM as he can.

It is times like this that I feel life is better than I deserve. Even without a house...

26 Days Later

We have been back in Oklahoma for 26 days now, and I am finally feeling like myself again. In the past 26 days I have packed up everything we need in two cars and moved into my grandmothers lake house at Eufaula, spent one week, then packed all we need up in ONE vehicle for a trip to Duncan, then back to Eufaula, I've gone back to work in Seminole for two days of in service, then packed everything back up for a weekend- turn week- in Norman, back up again to go to Eufaula- then AGAIN to Norman this past Monday. We are currently in Norman until I figure out a game plan in Seminole or move into my Shawnee home that doesn't really exist....

In the last 26 days, I have made a decision to send Carson AND Lyla to Mothers Day Out, had a breakdown because I just CAN'T send Lyla to mothers day out. Decided to live with my mom for a while to avoid L in MDO, which was/is scary for both of us,:)started my Stella & Dot business, (TRUNK SHOW THIS FRIDAY, the 27th) decided to put my PhD on hold for now, (I'm thinking I need to get basic, food, water, shelter, INTERNET needs met before taking that on), Josh started a new job, I returned to my old job teaching a new class, helped a friend get settled in a new home, celebrated two birthdays, continued pumping for Lyla, and have ATTEMPTED to keep my training for my half marathon on track. I'm wiped. All of this is a lot easier when you aren't living out of suitcases or trying to control your toddler in other people's homes. Any guesses on how many times I've said "that's not ours to break!!"???

I have come to the conclusion that God is teaching me a lesson. He is trying to teach me the be less of a nomad. I've stated before that I've moved some 16 or 17 times since 1998. He is trying to make me so sick of packing stuff up that I'll never do it again. And his lesson is working! I swear, if my house sells, and I can get moved to Shawnee, I WILL NOT MOVE FOR AT LEAST 8 to 10 years! If anyone even hears of me CONSIDER it without an emergent situation, slap me!

The last 26 days has given me a LOT of "Mommy Guilt". I feel so sad when my Carson shows people his new room each week. It's sad. Or when I forget to brush his teeth b/c we are out of our routine and I dont see his toothbrush to remind me. Or when I don't see my lil bit in the morning b/c I have to leave 1.5 hours before I normally would for work and stay longer. Carson wants to be potty trained, but "it's not our house to pee on". Carson wants his train, his room, his dog... ugh. guilt. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that we made this decision for them. We wanted them to be around family. AND BOY ARE THEY!

And to top it all off, I only have three pairs of shoes, two pairs of jeans, and two pairs of dress pants. I packed it all up to stage my house, never thinking it would STILL be on the market.

And I need Lyla's Social Security card. You don't think of packing your kids social before you move. Or I don't. Now it's 8 hours away and she needs insurance... My friend Amanda looked every where we could think of. So if any other Katy people read this and would like to dig through all my belongings, I'd appreciate it...

26 days later, and despite all the stress and frustration, we are happy. Josh is Josh again. He likes his job, I like my job, we see those we want to see most, we are missing NO birthdays, (we have THREE Saturday and another on Sunday) we will be going to all the football games we have tickets for. I've been at the lake so much that I'm over it. We are very excited to REALLY start our new life.

It's Moving Week

So my excitment for moving home is being somewhat damped by all the unknowns I currently have...

We need to sell our Katy home
We need to buy a Shawnee home
We are coming home this weekend, but don't know where we are staying
We are leaving all of our stuff here
We don't have childcare for our kids totally confirmed
We don't have any where to have our children kept when that childcare does work out
We don't know what to do with our dog
We don't know the best approach for moving
We are starting new jobs/going back to old ones that have changed


But other than that I CAN'T wait!

We did get to have a dinner with our small group last night at one of our favorite places "Clays". We like it b/c C gets to pet farm animals and play in the giant sandbox. We will really miss our friends. We were so blessed to have them take us in this past year and I don't know what I would have done without them.

I Love You to the Moon!

This saying came from the book Guess How Much I Love You. For those who aren't familiar, Little Nutbrown Hare, (who Josh's loving refers to as Little Brown Nut Hair) tells his Big Nutbrown Hare how much he loves him/her, and it ends with saying "I love you to the moon". So Carson and I now say this to each other. And it's the sweetest thing ever to hear "Love you to moon mama" whispered in my ear. It absolutly melts my heart. I love it. He rules. But I have a question. How does that sweet boy go from melting my heart with his love to the moon one minute, to making me want to throw him to the moon the next????

Needless to say Carson is gettign GOOOODDDD at throwing fits. And he has a snotty nose right now, so he's getting the snot down the face action in also. So, now, at least once a day, my sweet loving boy transforms into a screaming, snot eatting, red-faced, mumbling alien that has me looking for the spaceship that dropped him off.

It reminds me of another book, "I Love You Stinky Face." In this book the little boy asks his mom if she'd still love him if here were a variety of things, a meat eatting dinosaur, a monster with one eye, a smelly skunk, and with each she replys I would love you. Well, I tell you, if there was one more page in that book that read "But mama! But mama! What if I were a screaming, snot eatting, red-faced, mumbling alien, would you love me then?" Mama would have replied, "No. Now go to your room for THINKING about becoming that!"

Loving your child is something that you do no matter what. But somedays, loving them TO the moon might be the way to go. Maybe they'll come back normal...

They really do grow up fast huh?

So Lyla is now three months old. THREE! That doesn't seem like much in the grand sceme of things, but I'm afraid with all the chaos coming up in our lives that the next three are going to go by way too fast and too unappreciated.

I can't say enough how blessed I have been with my babies. They are just the sweetest things ever. Lyla is holding her head up great and LOVES to sit in her bumbo chair thing (I don't really know what its called). I can't believe this, but there are a lot of clothes I need to box up because she doesn't fit in them any more. She was so small then she woke up normal...She is talking away and seriously even says "hi" on occasion. I even managed to get it on video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oa-LnPRPv_k

(can someone share with me what I'm doing wrong when trying to add a link? It doesn't show up...)

I am going to bed every night now expecting a full nights rest, which is great! Which has even allowed me to stay up a LITTLE later than normal. 6:30am is still a bit early for me to get up... I like my sleep...Lil bit just lays down for her naps now. Well, I lay her down, but she signals me by sucking her sweet hand. Sure she might fuss a bit, but she's alseep within 5 minutes.

Speaking of 5 minutes. I was upstairs this morning trying to put together Carson's train track when Lyla woke up. I was close to being done, so I shouted down "Hang on Lil Bit" Carson then chimed in, "Five minutes, Lyla, O-Day, five minutes!". A little bit later I was trying to throw some cooler close in order to go outside to set up C's "slippy" slide, when he told me to "Wrap it up Mama. Come on. Wrap it up."

For real?

But WAIT! There's more!

In all the excitement and nervousness of my lunch hour I forgot to elaborate on the part that has ME most excited. Like so excited that sometimes I wanna cry excited. I get to teach full-time at SSC again!!!!! There really aren't enough exclamation points to describe how happy I am about this. I have been fortunate enough to have only two full-time jobs, both of which I LOVED, both of which I resigned from and both of which I've returned to. And they say you can never go home!

The day I left SSC was the day that I realized just how much I LOVED the job. I always knew it was a good job, with great hours, great flexibility as a mom and great co-workers that treated each other like family, but I realized my last day as I drove home and found myself crying, that I LOVED that job.

While in Katy, I've had to TRY to ignore the "happenings" at SSC so that I do not get sad all over again. I've tried to stay in the loop the best I can, but lets face it, if you're not there, your not in. I've continued teaching online and like it, but it's so different. I really like students. Even the ones that I really don't like, I like, in a strange way. And I really really miss being in the classroom. And I get to go back!!!

I am so thankful to those who allowed this to happen. The new role will be a little different. When I left I was the only psyc instructor that was full-time now there will be 2.5. (our division splits one lady's time with another dept.) Needless to say, I viewed it as "my" program and that will change. But I couldn't be more excited not to be on my own with one of the largest class loads on campus. AND, I get to help out my good pal Tracy J with Sociology classes! That will be a ton of fun and I'm excited for that challenge.

So, I'm excited. About so many things. And thankful for so many more!

PS. Things went GREAT with Josh and his boss today. We are both feeling SO much relief AND he gets to keep working for a few weeks, so I'm not needing lodging. Yet....

Warning: The following may read like my mind thinks...

I think I mentioned a few blogs back how we are addicted to change, well I'm writing this with my heart beating fast and feeling a little like I could puke...You see, my husband is finally doing what we've spent the last month and a half painfully deciding. He is quitting his job to go into business with my dad.

I know that sounds great. What's the deal? Well. He's initially loosing a good chunck of his salary to do this. It won't be for forever, just a few years, and I'm going back to work to make up the difference, but seriously, walking away from a high salary, knowing that in a year it could be DOUBLE??? It's scary. Makes me wanna puke. BUT, he will be getting to buy in and be part OWNER in the company he works for. Not only will this be a total motivator, it will mean more money. But change this big is still just scary.

I have been SO proud of Josh for all he has done at TS Dudley. In only five years he's gone from a rookie landman who knew nothing, to crew chief, to an associate prospect manager. And has been guarenteed another promotion within 6 months from now. He has done in 5 years what many landmen work 15-20 for. He has done well. I am proud of him.

BUT. We have debated and prayed, prayed and debated and we feel that this change will allow us to have a more well balanced life.

It's all about quality of life and finding a happy balance between work and friends and family.
Philip Green

This is just one of the quotes I've found while soul searching lately. And I feel that this quote is what has been the driving force behind our decision. Josh and I value our marriage above most things in our life second only to our children. And staying with Dudley doesn't allow for the marriage we hope to have. I am simply not a wife that is happy with my husbands credit card instead of seeing my husband. We value our time together and want to live life TOGETHER. We BOTH want to raise our kids, we want to see their school play at 10am and want to put them to bed together every night. We feel this job will allow us to enjoy our life. We want to work our butts off in our 30's, work in our 40's and hardly work in our 50's. Josh wants to be his OWN boss instead of working 14 hour days for someone else.

Now, he is going to be in for some HARD work for the next few years. Have I mentioned he doesn't know a THING about insurance? Again. Scary. Not to mention the fact that he has to earn his keep...scary.

But Josh WILL suceed. He has never failed at anything he has put his mind to. He will love it and he will do a good job. And he will be happy. Which is what I want more than anything. Happiness.

While I am scared, if I haven't mentioned that before, I am also so EXCITED I am about to BUST! Because this obviously means we get to move home.

I simply can't wait to live in Oklahoma again. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Katy, there's NO town like it in OK. Wish I could pack the town and my friends and bring it all with me, but I can't.

I don't really fit here. I am an OKLAHOMA girl, but I never knew that till I left. Having all the options around here is FANTASTIC, but it overwhelms me so I choose nothing. There is so much I feel I have to keep up with here- and I don't want to play. I don't want my steak to cost $50 with no sides, I just want to have my dad slaughter a cow and throw it on the grill. I wanna hang out in my trailer at the lake and karaoke at a place called the Coconut Shack, where mullets have not gone out of style. And the best part is, I wanna teach IN THE CLASSROOM at SSC and I can! YEA!

Are there things I'm gonna miss? YES! For example, HEB. Oklahoma has no idea what a grocery store should be like. You should be able to shop while sampling wine. You should be able to shop in a HEALTH SECTION. You should be able to buy fresh fish, sushi, granola. You should be able to shop in a CLEAN store where the checkout lines are OPEN. HEB, I will miss you.

Oklahomans wonder why they are fat... Well, it's because there is no where to exercise. NOT IN CINCO RANCH! There are MILES AND MILES like HUNDREDS of MILES of sidewalk. This is where the sidewalk does NOT end. It's fantastic. And everyone walks, runs, bikes ON these sidewalks and burns CALORIES....Cinco Ranch I will miss your sidewalks.

Wonder why only 30% of Oklahomans have a college degree? It's because we don't value our school systems. The schools down here are nicer than Universities. They have fine arts centers, great athletic facilities, WELL PAID teachers. And students who graduate ready for college. Texas has schools figured out. Texas schools...well we don't go yet...

Katy is hard to leave. There are great opportunities, we've made great friends, Carson's made great friends, we've been embraced with love by our small group. We will miss the town and all those in it.

I am also restarting two of my biggest LOVE/HATE relationships, school and running.

I have decided to start working on my PhD this fall in Health Psychology and Behavioral Medicine... I know MORE SCHOOL? My best friend Tracy says "You sure do love school". But I don't really. And I do. Maybe it's my defense against growing up. If I'm still in college I can't be a REAL grown up right? (I guess not, since my daddy's not paying any more, but hush). I REALLY hate having homework ALL the time and I hate writing papers, but at the same time I really do value education and I love learning. And for the FIRST TIME I am getting a degree in something I LOVE learning about.

I am also training for a half marathon in November. HALF! I decided since I gained half the baby weight with Lyla then as a reward, I only have to train for HALF a marathon. Of course, right now, even 13.2 sounds way too far!

So lots to do! And of course, I have two kids under three, a house to sell, a house to buy, a house to move out of, one to move into, a job to start, a new course to develop for fall, a husband to clean up after and I'd like to have a little fun. Listing it all out kinda makes me think "If I can do all this, won't I be like super woman?" I think so!

I like accomplishing things that feel impossible. And right now a LOT of things feel that way. Selling a house alone can feel that way. But we will do it.

I found a few other quotes that have helped me out:

My philosophy of life is that if we make up our mind what we are going to make of our lives, then work hard toward that goal, we never lose - somehow we win out. Ronald Reagan

Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.

But my FAVORITE is:

When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way. Wayne Dyer

I'll go do something more productive now. While hoping my husbands boss lets him work for a while longer. Otherwise, we will be heading home this weekend.... Anyone want company... :)

One month and four days

That is a long time in between posts... My bad...

Well, we've had lots going on around here. Most I can't blog about just yet, so I'll stick with what I can talk about.

Lyla is GROWING! We went home in June for almost two weeks and since we got home, she seems to not be fitting into anything any longer. Or if she does, she looks HUGE! Lyla is smiling and getting into her crawl stance quiet well. She eats like clockwork and sleeps 11-12 hours each night and for at least an hour every three hours during the day. She rules. Just like her brother.

Speaking of, Carson is getting FUUUNNNYYY. I think I've said that before. But he is. Most things shouldn't be funny, like when he says, "No way Mama, No way." But when he says, "Yes mam Mama, Yes mam", that makes up for it. He is learning how to tell us what he does and does NOT want/like/whatever, and most things that he does on his own are either "perfect" or "good enough". He likes to demonstrate how things are done, for example, you ask if he went swimming, he says, "Yes! Like this" and then he will lay down and show you HOW he swims. Yesterday, Carson slept till NOON! It was cool, except he was still so fussy he went back to bed at 6:30pm and slept till we woke him at 7:30 today, but don't worry, he asked to go "night night" by noon.

Anyway, just a quick update to check in. More to come soon...

There's a whole lotta poopin goin on...

So I seem to blog about poop quiet often. In fact one time, the "Crap Blog Detector" commented on my blog, he said I must be "terribly dull to have to blog about poop", while I agree, my first thought was "WELL, you are the CRAP blog detector" I was honestly momentarily confused that someone may just like blogs about crap. If you are new to my blog, here is the link to the first poop blog:

www.kendallandjosh.blogspot.com/2009/11/battle-of-flying-poop.html

Anyway, yes. I blog about poop. But my life involves a LOT of it. One day, Lyla pooped in THREE clean diapers in a ROW! We'd change her, pick her up, she'd poop, we'd change her, pick her up, poop, we'd change her...you get the picture. And really, this is my life most mornings, she only likes to keep a clean diaper for oh, two minutes...Jaxon poops all over my yard, which results in me cleaning poop off the bottom of shoes and picking it up out of my yard. Carson poops a lot also. I'm pretty sure I found some dried up on my wall the other day. That's just nasty. And these days Carson is totally preferring to poop in the potty. Which leads me to my first story.

I left Josh alone during bath and bedtime the other day to go get my hair done. I was pretty worried, but Josh assured me he was fine. "Ok", I thought, "he is the dad"... So I left. And only checked in once, and J said it was all going fine and to enjoy myself. When I got home I got the REAL story.

Like I said, C likes to go in the potty to poo. So he told Josh that he had to go poo. Josh, who was holding a screaming Lyla, said "ok buddy, let me put Lyla down", but when he turned around, Carson had already began. Well, apparently, Josh didn't CONFIRM what C meant when he said "go poo poo". I know that means two things, one, "I want to go poo poo", two "I just went in my pants." Unfortunately for Josh, C meant number two. Josh walked into the bathroom to find Carson climbing onto the potty streaming the poo, that WAS in his pants, all over the toilet. Carson was also in the process of "wiping" which meant poo was on his hands also. SO. Josh grabed him up and just guess what he did! He put him in MY BATHTUB!!!! And apparently, there was some left over poop on his bottom that fell out IN MY BATHTUB! BTW, Lyla is still screaming through all of this and was brought into the bathroom and put in her boppy to witness. There was more to this story, but I think I stopped listening when I started imaging poop IN MY BATHTUB.

But Carson DOES go poo in the potty quiet a bit. And when he does, we sing a little song, "Carson poo pooed in the potty, poo poo in the potty, YEA Carson!" Well, the singing of this little song leads to my next story.

Josh took Carson into a bathroom at a gas station. J walked in to find the urinal (spelling? I have never tried to spell that word before) taken up by two large truckers. So Josh leads Carson into the stall. He doesn't bother shutting the door, I guess cause guys just go in front of each other, gross. Anyway, Josh asks Carson to stand back and to not touch anything. Josh continues to go pee- NO NOT POO! About half way through J's potty break, he hears "YEA DADDY! Pee pee in the potty! Pee pee in the potty! Yea Daddy!" And of course, he also hears the truckers, laughing and mocking "yea Daddy! Pee pee in the potty!" Of course, Josh misses the potty b/c he is laughing so hard at the whole scene. FUNNY!

SO, poop, I feel is QUIET entertaining Mr. Crap Blog Detector.

Modern %#*&@# Technology

So we have fell victim to modern technology with our new baby. When buying a monitor this time, we actually researched and ended up getting one that detects movements. Now, when I first read this, I read it as "alerts you when baby moves". And I was like, "Come on! I don't need to be alerted every time she MOVES!" But then Josh corrected me and told me that it monitors babies movement and alerts me when she doesn't move for 20 seconds. Sounds good right? I debated between this and video monitor and decided that I'd rather be alerted if she stops breathing than look at her while she sleeps.

We moved Lyla out of our room last week and got the monitor all set up. Of course, we had to have some test runs. We figured we would test it out by taking the baby out of her bed and if it goes off then were happy. So we did, and sure enough, all kinds of alarms started going off every where. NOTE: if you are going to fall victim to modern technology, make sure you are smart enough to work it. Josh and I scrambled back and forth between monitors, the receiver, pushing buttons like crazy, just to turn the thing off. We finally get it off and rather than being content, I decide we should test it again... NOW, mind you, I barely even USED a monitor with Carson... Anyway, again we layed her down and again we picked her up and again alerts went off every where that we could not control. "Ok. I think it works" I said.

That night I went to bed assured that if my baby stopped breathing I would be alerted... ALL OVER THE HOUSE! So I slept. And around 2am, Lyla woke up. I went to get her, got her out of her bed, began to change her diaper, when all those &*#@* alarms started going off again!!! My thoughts as I scrambled around trying to shut the thing off were something like this: "She's not MOVING b/c she's with ME! Can't this *&$#@!$ monitor figure that out??? Isn't there a $#@&*# WEIGHT sensor too!"

After I succeeded in waking up the house I fed her and put her down and went back to sleep. Only to be awaken by that #*@&# monitor. I picked it up and hit it against my bed before I realized "Oh &(#@^$ that means she's not breathing" (by the way, this monitor makes me cuss in my mind a lot). SO, I finally clued in to what was going on and rushed to her room. It was dark, so I couldn't really tell if she was breathing, so of course to be safe I shake her awake. Yep. If she wasn't breathing, she after that! I just hope we have no shaken baby issues to deal with.

Unsettled and AWAKE I went back to bed wondering if she was breathing or not, but decided it didn't matter b/c that thing was going to wake me up!

We slept peacefully for several nights after, then last night I was woken up by the *&^$# alarm again. But this time I was prepared, I jumped out of bed SO FAST, throwing the monitor at Josh to turn off, ran to her room, but this time DID have enough sense to just look and touch first, and she was sleeping like a baby. With my heart beating out of my chest, I then realized that I may had just ripped my stitches out of my incision b/c my tummy when I shot up and ran, which had already been sore from not following Dr's orders. I curled over and fell back on the bed about the time Josh came it. "She's breathing" I told him. "That %^#&@* monitor just made me rip my #*#$& stitches" I THOUGHT (yes, just THOUGHT). "I'll turn the sensitivity up on the thing" Josh said. "WHAT?? The *#%@*# sensitivity was DOWN???" I THOUGHT. "Good idea," I SAID and returned to bed.

NOTE: If it hadn't been for that #%$*@# monitor, I would have only been up once between 9:30pm and 7am...

Lyla I Love...

Lyla I love...
that you snuggle up in our neck to get comfy
that you look so much like your brother that I call you Carson on accident
the way you hold your sweet hands together up to your face
that you suck on your finger when you are hungry
that you peck on my cheek if you're real hungry
that you smile sweetly in your sleep
that you make your brother so happy
the way you cuddle on your daddy's chest
that your name fits you so well
that you have the tiniest feet I've ever seen
that you have brought us so much happiness...


I have been trying to memorize so many things about you this past month. The way you smell, the way your soft hair feels on my face, the way your little body fits on my chest, the way you hold my finger while you sleep, the way your little lips feel on my cheek, the way you need me to hold you so you can sleep comfortably, the way you squeak in your sleep, all because I know now how fast it will pass. Soon enough you will have real hair, not fit on my chest, feed yourself and only be cozy in a bed to sleep. You won't need me because you will be strong and independent. I pray that is how you grow to be.

So for now, I will continue to try to freeze moments in my memory- even 2am moments and continue to remind myself in my exhaustion that it will end soon, too soon, restful nights also include a grown baby. Our last baby. Lyla, I love.

Um who are you???

SO, I don't really have a lot of updating to do this week. Lyla is still a baby, still eating, crying, sleeping. You know, the norm. Carson is still 2.... BUT does seem to be coming out of his "Demon Phase". He really started responding in a VERY negative way about a month before Lyla was born. He started hitting at school, not minding, pushing, crying about everything, in fact, he wouldn't even smile in the morning when I would come up to get him. It has been awful!!! But the last week or so he has shown signs of the old Carson, and today when I took him to school, he didn't need to be held or convinced to stay, he just started playing and told me bye. He didn't need me at all!!! Just how I like him to be!!! Secure and happy.

Since that is about all the updates I have I thought I'd share my "SAY WHAT???" moment of the week...

So, my MIL, Kathy, kept L while C was in school on Monday so I could run to the store in peace. When I was checking out the cashier decided to make small talk. Which is fine with me. I'm from Seminole. I'm used to having a long conversation with strangers who work everywhere. Anyway, I was buying kid products, so she asked how my mothers day was. I said, "Great! We took our kids to an Astro's game" (which is baseball...and yes, it does sound like more of a FATHERS Day, but oh well...)She asked how old my kids were and I told her, 2 and 3 weeks. She then continued to tell me that 3 weeks is to young for that and asked why I wasn't worried. I told her "I didn't know what there was to worry about... It was indoors, and she can sleep on me in my sling as good as she can sleep any where. Besides", I told her, "I don't think my 2 year old and I should have to miss out on new experiences just because I decided to have another baby." She said, "True. But that's too young".

Needless to say I left there wondering who that cashier at HEB thinks she is dishing out advice...I guess that's what got her..never mind- that's too mean to type...

Just a side note- Lyla was awake and in awe most of the game. I believe she loved it as much as a three week old can love anything...

OK. So, agree with her if you want. That is fine. But we did the same thing with Carson and he is fine. But no matter how you feel about taking a baby in public securely attached to your body, I don't feel that it is EVER a strangers job to correct someones parenting style unless asked.

This experience almost outranks the time a complete stranger started wiping the spit up off Carson's mouth...with her HANDS!!!...during flu season...

So that's the end of the weeks update...hopefully a less irritated post will come next Wednesday.

Milk anyone???

SO these days people ask me how I'm feeling and most of the time I can control myself well enough to keep from telling the truth, which is "I FEEL like a milk cow." I'm sure this is the same thing every mom feels like with a newborn, but COME ON! How can one little girl eat/drink SOOO much? It's AMAZING!

Speaking of one little girl, here's another question, how can one little girl fart SOOOO much? Now THAT is what is REALLY amazing. I mean seriously, WOW! I can't even count the number of times I've been FOR SURE she needed her diaper changed, but nope. Just gas. Pretty sure she could win ANY contest. So I guess if other things don't work out for her, she'll have that...

Other than Lyla and I producing mass amounts of what we produce, things have been pretty good around here. I have to say, I am suprised how UN-overwhelmed I am with two kids. Looks like those hours I spent awake during pregnancy worried about this were just hours of wasted sleep that I'd die to have back now.

Sleep... how I miss you... Let me clarify, UNINTERUPTED sleep. I really am getting severl hours, at LEAST 6 each night, but I just HATE waking up. Once I'm awake, I'm ok, it's just those few seconds when she starts to cry that I find myself kicking my legs on the bed like a two year old having a tempter tantrum and whining a little about the situation. This is also the time of day when I miss formula. Because at LEAST I could say to Josh, "Your turn".

Speaking of "Your turn" don't all you mom's think that breast feeding is the LEAST God coulda allowed men to do to contribute to this process??? I mean, I'll help, but couldn't they work up a little lactation to at least contribute to this non-stop eating machine? At least a couple times a day... I guess that's why man (which by man, I'm sure it was WOman) invinted the pump...

Say WHAT???

I have had this reaction to several things this week...

First, Monday was my first day on my own. And of course, I didn't get to just get up and enjoy my morning, I had to get up and get two kids fed, dressed, Carson's lunch packed, myself dressed and out the door by 8:30 for C to get to school on time. And did I mention it was the morning after Lyla had her first hard night? Of COURSE! Anyway, we managed, with 20 minutes to spare! Say what?

Monday also included Lyla's two(ish) week check up. And she is doing great! She was down to 6.6 the Monday before but this Monday she was back up to 7lb even. Guess she really is getting what she needs, even when she sleeps a long time at night.

Then came Tuesday... I had survived my first day alone with two and a still somewhat sore c-section incision, then I got to find out that I would be following my first day alone with my first NIGHT alone. It's now Wednesday and I haven't seen Josh really since Monday night since I was dead to the world when he tried to tell me bye Tuesday. Say what???

Tuesday also included my incision check in the Medical district. Since I can't carry Lyla in her carrier and Carson didn't have school, I was really wondering how I was gonna do this without any restraints... But my friend Aubrey saved the day when she said she would come stay with Carson. YEA! THANK YOU AUBREY! Taking Lyla alone was a breeze. Stuck her in my sling and she slept through the whole appointment. Getting taken on and off and everything.

Then the BIGGEST "SAY WHAT" news came... I had to weigh at my appointment and I have lost all my pregnancy weight plus a pound!!!! And I haven't even stopped eating like I'm pregnant yet. Now those of you who know me well know why I'm SO excited. You all know I had to train for and run a whole marathon to get C's weight off. Sixteen MONTHS and 26.2 later, it was gone. But this time I just breast fed. And exercised throughout. And it just came off. By day 11!!! SAY WHAT????

Now, does my lower stomach look good? Well, NO, still swollen and sagging, but I'll work on that later!

One week down!

Well, it's been a week since Lyla arrived. And I just can't begin to describe the difference between this time and last. First off, I have showered EVERY day. And have even been fixing my hair! WHAT??? I'm not sure I even did that before she was born. Last time I think Carson stopped crying long enough for me to get ONE shower in on day FIVE and there was defiantly no hair fixing or make up involved! In fact, I have even painted my finger nails!!! I don't think I have done that for years! I have been getting about 8 hours of sleep EVERY night, last time I think I got 8 hours in the first week combined. My kids nap at the same time so I get 2.5-3 hours of peace every afternoon, last time if C napped this early it was because I was holding him. I am nursing successfully, last time I gave up on day three. Pretty much opposite, like everyone said. It's just that everyone also said Carson was an easy baby. Didn't think it would get EASIER. I am just SO blessed.

However, I was hoping for a week "off" from normal household duties, but Josh's clients didn't really get the memo that he was out for the week so he has been having to work a LOT and I have been taking care of most things still. BOO! Can't a girl get a break after 9 months of misery? LOL! Oh well, Josh has been helping when he can and has been a big help with Carson, which is most important.

Josh has been FANTASTIC at night. He has been getting up every feeding (all of TWO each night) to change her diapers, and to bring her to me and to help me to get situated. Last night he even set up and watched some TV with me, after all, Lyla only woke us up ONCE last night, at 4:30am, so we were really pretty rested. Lyla and I then slept till almost 9. NINE!!!!!!! WHAT?????? WHO IS THIS KID???? I hope she's not autistic. (always my concern any time my kids are too good).

By the way, I meant to say diaperS, because if there is one thing this baby has down it is bad timing. I swear she only likes to poop in a fresh diaper. One night, Josh changed three in a row. We were laughing like crazy. Well, the best laugh I could produce anyway.

Again, I just feel so blessed. For such a sweet baby, for a healthy baby, for Carson who is adjusting well and who LOVES his baby sister SO much and for my husband who is working overtime right now to take care of us in every way he can. And for friends who have been bringing meals to make sure we are eating. What a great beginning to this new adventure!