In my next 30 years, I'm gonna drink a little more beer and try to stay up late

It seems just like last year I was turning 25 and singing along to John Mayers song "Why Georgia" thinking I too was having a "quarter life crisis". And today I find myself, still reflecting with my buddy John, but this time to the song "I wish I was six again" which asks "Whatever happened to my lunchbox? When came the day that it got thrown away? And don't you think I should have had some say in that decision?"

Now I pack my SON'S lunchbox....and at times look in my car and think "that's not mine, there are CARSEATS in the back"...sometimes I look at my hands and wonder who they belong to...etc. etc.

SO, as you can tell, I am wrapping up my final days in my 20's (NINE months pregnant I might add). This new age absolutely BLOWS MY MIND. I am SO grown up! And I grew up so fast! And while my mind has been being blown, I have had a lot of thoughts about this new milestone.

First, this is the first age milestone that has not included a new advantage of some sort. No entering the teen years, no drivers license, no legal buying of cigarettes or porn, or beer, or cheaper auto insurance, NOTHING, except the first year that I wonder about "where my youth went". And wondering if/when I'll need a little "work" done... GREAT. Thanks media. While thinking about this, I have had several realizations.

As many of you know, I used to like to have a lot of F.U.N.!!! But when looking back at my 20's, I realized that I seemed to have begun to outgrow my F.U.N. pants SIX years ago!!!! WHAT??? ME??? NOOO!!! I blame it on my husband. I'm not even sure "blame" is the word, but I blame him. NOW, I am NOT saying that I haven't tried to squeeze into my F.U.N. pants on occasion, I'm just saying I started to at least take them off to wash them on occasion starting the summer of 2004. Which DOES happen to be the summer I started dating Josh. Since then, when I do squeeze back into the F.U.N. pants, they seem to be getting more and more uncomfortable, and the next day, I KNOW what pants I was wearin the night before if you know what I mean. Now I can't blame not wearing my F.U.N. pants JUST on Josh, Carson shares that blame, moving away from friends and family shares that blame, but overall, my new desire to take care of my family REALLY shares that blame. BUT, at what point do we put our family in front of our own desire for F.U.N. so often that our F.U.N. pants get moth holes in them and you can't wear them any more???

Well, I have decided I need to make sure I don't find out this answer. Now, this IS going to require me to get some F.U.N. pants that fit me a little better, ones that don't leave their mark, but ones that I can wear out much more often, b/c if there is one thing that I've learned from my recent reflections it is that life is going by TOO FAST!!!! And apparently, like Joey from Friends, God didn't follow through on our agreement to leave me at 26, so I can either spend my evenings wasting away in front of the TV or I can LIVE this life. I can either continue to nurse my love for sleep by sleeping away more of my life than most people, or I can enjoy every minute of every day.

I also thought that when I turned 30 I would magically be transformed into Carrie Bradshaw. Kinda like when I thought I'd look like Kelly Kapowski from Saved by the Bell by the time I was in high school... And once again, I find myself disappointed and in a bit of disbelief. I mean, I didn't EVER expect to live in NYC, but I tought, for SOME reason, I'd at LEAST turn cool. And get a fashion sense, a closet filled with fantastic shoes, have a great trendy group of girlfriends, spend Friday nights at fancy night clubs, somehow always have money to shop with, not really have to work while still getting a pay check, a great body that requires little exercise.... You know, you've seen Sex and the City. Carrie Bradshaw makes being 30 something sound SOOO cool. Real life doesn't make it seem so cool...

Real life makes 30 seem, well OLD. I am out of time to do all the things I wanted to do before I turn 30...

Since I can't go back and relive my 20's, I am going to make sure I don't turn 40 and wish I had lived my life more when I was ONLY in my 30's. I will be having my second (and LAST) child right around this big day. I will spend the next decade (plus) raising them and loving them and enjoying every second of their childhood, but I will also be spending the next ten years enjoying every second of my youth. Because, while 30 sounds old to me now, it will seem SOOO young at 60, and I want to make sure I have no regrets. That I LIVE. That I find myself some new F.U.N. pants. I want to have a better balance for myself, my husband, my friends, AND my children. And like Tim McGraw says:

My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife/husband
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here, In my next thirty years

But for now, I'm sleepy, so I'm gonna go take a nap... I'll start livin next week.